Search For The Light
by Alas Beautiful Mind
Summary: Everybody lies, that's the truth. But when one lives a lie that is when things get bad. Those that try to seek the truth only get caught up into more lies and more pain but sometimes trying to find the light is worth it. -fixed it- T just in case


**Search For The Light.**

**A/N: **Wow…I wish I knew what was going on in my head when I wrote this, ^^'  
>I've wanted to write a regular show FF for a while now but I lacked a good plot…or any plot at all. Anyways this was done by my sister; Bunny-Chan Loves You whose account got hacked.<p>

I posted this not too long ago and people trolled around how Nyx was a Mary Sue. I can't really understand how a one armed, depressed, anorexic, self-hating hermaphrodite with a pigment mutation can be Mary sue. The only thing that could be different about him/her is being half human and half wolf and his/her name, though it's not a weird name since it's my sister's name. We're Italian so our last name it Denotte, I didn't want to put that in here so I made it into English which; the night, the shortened it to just Night.

I hope you like it this one now. Trust me she's not going to be a huge part, I just needed to include someone to help move things along and make my plot. Please just read it without flaming me. ^^

**Warnings: **Language, OC, some hinted Mordecai/Rigby, dark themes, mild sexual content, ect. If you don't like, then get off my story! Flamers will be peed upon. ^^

**Summary: **Everybody lies, that's the truth. But when one lives a lie that is when things get bad and very quick. Those that try to seek the truth only get caught up into more lies and more pain but sometimes trying to find the truth is worth it, it's worth the pain and suffering that was endured.  
>I am worthless to everyone who sees me, I'm a monster with no heart and no feelings to them but I want to prove them wrong and help free others of the grip of their lies because no one deserves to hide from the truth.<p>

**Disclaimer: **Do I own Regular Show? Nope -_-'  
>I just own my poor and depressed character<p>

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><p>Chapter 1: Shattered<p>

-1st person POV-

Since the day I was born I knew I was different than everybody else, for one I was neither human nor animal like everyone else. I was both, a mix of both creatures in one small, anorexic ,girly body. My mother was a wolf while my father was human, their love was forbidden and illegal but just like Romeo and Juliet; that didn't stop them. They hid their love from the light of everybody and let it out in the darkness of turned backs, but they slipped up…it went too far and for far too long and the result was me, they hadn't even thought it was possible and my mother didn't even know she was pregnant with me until she went into labor.

I was born, and I made it but my mother unfortunately didn't…after the doctors saw me, they reported her and my father to the police. She stayed behind while my father and I made it out of the hospital, my father watched her as the police arrived and attacked her…the massive bloodshed caused by me, I will never forget that…I am a child that has survived by the bloodshed of the innocent and I forever will be this way. My name is Nyx Night; I am a child of pain, sorrow, and bloodshed.

It's been seventeen years since that day and I no longer know who I truly am, or why I am still alive. I've watched everyone around me fall dead and their blood still stain my hands, sadly it will never wash away; my skin has soaked it up and it's has now become part of me.  
>"Nyx, come here." That name almost makes me laugh but my face stays in the same emotionless mask I've been wearing for far too long, I get up from my seat and walked over to a large man in a power suit. I keep my head down in a sign of submission and respect to him; he's my boss and my master. His large callous covered hand slips under my chin and tilts it up so his eyes look into my own, he twitches slightly at it. I was born with a pigment mutation; it only affected my eyes and made them into something people feared. My right eye is completely blue, a rich royal blue and is soft, gentle and saddening the look of a submissive slave while my left eyes is teal, a sharp and angry color that shows power and dominance over everything and everyone.<p>

"Avert your eyes child; you have a medusa-like gaze." I look away as he still holds my face up, my face is thin that comes from my mother's side of the family; but still had slight angles that gave me a devious and mischievous look that could rival that of a high school bad boy and trouble maker combined, though I wasn't one.  
>"You really are a little angel faced demon, I don't know any more if you are a curse or a blessing." His words hurt but they are true, though I never knew which one I was. Even my own body could not decide what to make of me, so now I hide its decision under thick cloth and empty hopes.<br>The man's large hand snaked around my anorexically waist and softly stroked my snow white wolf tail, I flinch at the touch but I don't pull away; I'm not allowed to. My tail and ears were rather sensitive and he knew it, he hated so much that he would do this just to see my body's reaction, and as if I was motion sensitive light, my body turned on and started showing its reaction to the touch. My face flushed bright red at the touch and my eyes softened and half lidded, I could feel my chest reacting as well.

My heart pounded as it sent blood throughout my whole body, the small sensitive nubs on my chest rose to attention and my small chest could be seen clearly though my thin T-shirt. I had forgotten to bind it today, a foolish mistake that I hated making. The man smirked as his touched turned to strokes from the base of my tail down to the tip, I let out a small gasp as I felt a rush of heat run down straight to my shorts and quickly they felt tighter. I couldn't pull my face away from the man's grip but my hand lightly touched the front of my shorts, and as always the small bulge was there. It was useless and had no reason to be there, but it was.

"P-Please…S-S-Stop…M-Master" My voice was soft and weak, like that of a broken slave…I'm sure that is what I am, but I never asked or was told if it was the truth.  
>The man didn't stop; he laughed as he saw my body's reaction and shoved me down to my knees. I didn't resist as my thin legs buckled under me and my bruised knees hit the ground and I let out a yelp, he grabbed my ears roughly and caused me to let out another yelp but I clamped my hand over my mouth; I was at least glad he let go of my tail.<br>"Scream like the slut you are, you little freak!" He gave a hard tug at my ear and pulled my wrist into one of his hands, I let out a yelp and my head instinctively pulled back. He pulled it forward and pulled my wrists above my head, I was whimpering by now. I didn't want this, I was afraid of him and this.

"Mr. Skylark, you have a call on line three." I almost let out a breath of relief at the woman's voice on the intercom; I was going to have to thank her later. He gave a last tug at my ear before letting go of it and my wrist, my hand dropped and I stayed there motionless.  
>"Leave, I'll deal with you later." I nodded at his voice and quickly got up; I rushed out the door and closed it behind me and started walking away. As soon as I far enough away from him I broke down into tears, my back was against a wall and I slowly slid down it until I was sitting on the ground like a rag doll.<p>

'Why, why, why!' I screamed out in my mind and buried my head into my knees, my tail wrapped around me as best as it could; I held it to my face to muffle my sobs. The other workers passed by me but didn't help, if anyone saw them touching their boss's 'toy' they would be punished.  
>'That's what I've been reduced to; a toy, something you play with then toss when it stopped being fun…its fits me, it's fit my whole life.' I thought to myself, after crying I would fall into a numb state of mind, it was then that I thought the most and tried to find my way out…but it never worked I am still trapped and I was still a useless, broken toy.<p>

'My father didn't even want me, he sold me away so he didn't have to keep looking at me…Me, the reason that the love of his life was dead; the freak child that was born to destroy everybody's happiness.' I didn't know what had happened to my father, but for the luck I've had I didn't doubt he left me behind. Sometimes I had dreams of him, about him and I laughing and playing as if nothing was wrong.

"Nyx…the master has requested to see you." I looked up at the kind maid; she gave a small smile to me. I nodded and got up from the ground, tears were wiped away and the emotionless mask was placed back into its place before I went to my master's office. "You requested my presence, master?" I asked, my voice was naturally soft and neutral of either gender; it seemed to fit me perfectly. His cold eyes looked at me and seemed to strip me of all my will and power, this cold and evil man had been my whole world since I was twelve.

He owned a large park, the largest there was but that was only thanks to me, I was not only his toy but his spy. I was sent to other parks under fake names and fake papers; there I would find the inner workings of the park and throw a wrench into it. Everything was done quietly and caused the workers and owner to lose customers, and in the end they sold to Mr. Skylark as a last resort.  
>I hated doing this but I don't fight the fate that was picked for out for me.<p>

"Nyxian…I need you to go under cover and spy again on another park." I smirked; at least I wasn't going to get punished for not giving the master a blow job, that wasn't something that was pleasant to me.  
>"Mr. Maellard doesn't want to let go of that shitty park he owns, he believes it's better than mine, ha! Fool!"<p>

I nodded at my master and kept listening; I had seen the park before and if my master got it, he would own all the parks in the upper half of the country and add to his wealth. "Of course not, master. All of your parks are so much better than that one; they fall like flies to it." Buttering up was something I could do rather well, my master had to agree.

"I'm sending you there to infiltrate and destroy; you have a month to bring that park to its knees. If you do, I'll give you your freedom." I looked up as my eyes widened at the man; he came forward and took my face into his hand. My eyes slid closed as he examined his little spy, he rather liked me in a way but a promise was a promise; he would keep it since he liked his parks better.  
>"This time, neither your name nor your history will be changed; you will go as Nyx<br>Night but you'll be put down as a female for reasons. "I covered up the small shame of my chest, never will I ever be normal like everyone else; just a freak kid with no place to belong. "You'll leave first thing in the morning, now leave." I bowed to the man before walking out; as soon as I shut the large oak doors, I was able to relax and let out a small sigh.

"That went better than I thought, seems he doesn't have enough anger against me to do anything vile." I said softly to myself and started walking away down the long hallways; I finally arrived to the room that was given to me. Not much of a room, it was too small to be called a room but better enough as a closet; it had a mattress on the floor, a stack of old phone books as a table and a small cardboard box that worked as a wardrobe for my clothes. I sat down on my bed and laid back on it, I felt my shirt rise up to reveal my sunken stomach. Bones jutted from my whole body since I was too skinny, I think most people could call my anorexic. I ate too little and trained too much, it never bothered me since training kept my mind off the hunger. When one is a spy, one must be ready for anything and always be well trained.

I curled up into a ball as I laid there, this mission would be my last and I was glad of it. I would be away from this disgusting man of a master I had, but at the same time I felt sad and depressed. I have nowhere else to go, no one to see and nothing I really want.  
>"Nothing…useless…heartless." My old names came back to mind, mindlessly my hand ran over the inner part of my right arm and I felt the scar. From the bend of my elbow to the edge of my wrist, a large and permanent scar carved into my arm; HEARTLESS.<p>

My whole body was riddled with scars, most were on my arms and leg, and my back. A few were on my face; a deep one on my lip, one across my left cheek bone. They were everywhere on my body and my soul, physical pain I could take. I lived most of my life with this man and all his ways of torture, from whips to lead pipes, to even a stapler. The staples had gone into my back and had ruined one of my lungs.  
>I softly touch my left arm, more or less where it was suppose to be but now all there was, was an empty sleeve. I don't remember much of the incident, just a lot of pain and screaming and blood. I passed out from the blood loss and when I woke up, I was in my room and all that was left of my left arm was a six inch stump hanging from my shoulder.<p>

The tears ran down my face, the scar would always be a reminder of what I've slowly and painfully have become. 'Love eludes you like two positive sided magnets.'  
>I looked up and around trying to see who had said that, who was in my tiny room?<br>'Even if you try to runaway, you'll never run from the truth; you're a freak that isn't supposed to be alive.' The voice said again, I quickly realized it was coming from inside my mind; it was right…no matter how much or how far I ran, nothing would change. People would see me as a freak and I would be hated, I couldn't change that and maybe I would be safer if I just stayed with my master.

"Nyx…the master requested we fix you up for your mission tomorrow." I turned to the voices at my door, my voice wouldn't come out. I couldn't say anything and so I just turned over and buried my face into the mess of sheets I had until the door open then close.  
>"Oh poor dear, look how exhausted she is." I could hear one of the maids kneel down next to me and softly touched my back; I guess she thought I was sleeping and was trying to wake me up.<p>

"She? You and I both know that thing isn't a girl, neither is it a boy." Another maid said, her words stung and I tried to not make any sounds so they didn't know I was awake. "It's an abomination and it's not supposed to be sleeping!" A sharp pain on my side made me gasp; I let out a loud yelp and curled up to protect my side from anymore kicks and pain.

"Sara! Don't kick it; the master will be rather angry at you if Nyx cannot fulfill it's duties tomorrow." I sighed, now the one person who had called me a 'she' was now calling me an 'it'.

"I-I'm awake…Enough with the kicks…" I said softly and looked up at them, they helped me up from bed and took me down the hallway to an overly pink private bathroom covered in fake flowers and the smell of hair care products was heavy in the air.  
>"Now let's fix up this hair." One of the maid's overly happy voices filled my ears and I just nod slightly. The hair tie that kept my hair together was pulled out roughly and my massive amount of hair fell to my waist; thick, jet black and relaxed. I hadn't cut it for a long time, out of anger and frustration, maybe.<p>

"…so lucky to have hair like this, being a freak must have its perks." The words don't hurt anymore; I look at my hair that hung down to the edge of my waist.

The three maids each pick up a pair of large scissors and start attacking my hair, the snips and cuts turn into a song to me. I can feel the weight of my hair off my shoulders, I glance down at all the hair on the ground.

"Finished, now we can at least wash it properly now." I look up at the mirror as I notice it fell to my shoulders, at least eight or nine feet shorter than before. And before I can react my clothes are tugged off, I lift my arms as the shirt is yanked off and almost takes my head along with it. My shorts and underwear and pulled down, I stand there a moment and hesitate as I look into the mirror.  
>Naked and bare, my shame is shown. Parts of both genders are visible on my body, I look so scared and frail but before I can let the image sink in I'm pushed into the bathtub. Landing face first into the scolding hot water, I sit up and ignore the pain. The maids quickly start washing my hair and body; I hate being treated like this. It makes me feel like I am so useless, I can't even bathe myself.<p>

"Turn your head this way." My head turns with a yank of my hair; I look at the woman with empty eyes and close my eyes. The hot tears run down my face, I don't feel them until they hit my skin and I realize the ache in my chest.  
>They think I'm crying over the yank, I'll let them think that as long as they want…I'll hide my pain until the day I lose control, then…I can die peacefully.<p>

"Alright, out of the tub; it's late and you need your rest." I get up as the water is drained and a towel is wrapped around me, I just lift my arms up as they start drying me off. I'm not allowed to even do that, I just stand there as they do what they must and send me off to my room. A pair of boxers and a large T-shirt later, I'm back on my mattress. The silence of the night and the weariness of my body finally are too much and I slowly drift off into a dreamless sleep while hugging my stump close.

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><p>-3rd person POV—<p>

CRASH!

The sound of glass breaking filled the once quiet house and shattered the peaceful night; a tall blue jay and raccoon looked at each other then back at the window they broke.

"Dude, Benson is going to kill you."

"What? You're the one who had a bitch fit and threw the video game control through the window; you always have tantrums when you don't get what you want."

The two started bickering then it scaled all the way up into a full out fight, they were both off the couch and into fighting stances.

"Death punc-"

"No death kwon do in the living room or your both fired!"

Rigby lowers his arms as he turns to the living gumball machine in the doorway, their boss looks at them both and then at the window. The two best friends held their breaths as they gumball machine stood there and looked at the damage done then at the ones who did the damage.  
>He rubs where his temples were most likely at and let out a tired and stressed sigh as his eyes slid shut, Rigby slowly edged over to his best friend as they both watch without saying anything.<p>

"Both of you have only two options right now." Benson said as he looked up at them, his cold glare makes them shiver but they keep their mouths shut as they wait for him to speak. He gestured them to follow him into the kitchen, they follow and sit at one extreme of the table while the gumball machine takes the other. "Tomorrow morning there will be a new worker arriving, she's here as a last resort. She's had some extremely traumatic things in her life, and this is the only place that has accepted her for a job and a place to stay."

"Alright, but what does that have to do with us?" Rigby asked as he wondered out loud, Benson glared at the raccoon while Mordecai sent an elbow to his bud's ribs.

"She's a Fusion."

The kitchen fell silent at the word; a fusion was one of the nicer words used for a creature born half human and half animal. Many fusions were born but very few fusions survived the world; most were killed in places that were against their kind. Regular city was one of the few that were neutral on Fusions, but still a lot of hate crime happened.

"I need you two to show her around, you know…show her the ropes, make sure she does her job well, ect." Benson leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as he looked at his two workers, Rigby and Mordecai weren't sure what to say. This wasn't what they expected as a punishment, it really wasn't much of a punishment but more of just another job for them to do.

"We'll take it." They both said simultaneously, he looked at each other and fist pumped. Benson sighed and gave a nod as he got up and grabbed a thin blue folder from on top of the refrigerator, and placed it on the table in front of his two workers.

"Skips and I are leaving early tomorrow in the morning to a park owner's conference, and Pops is going over to his father's. So both of you are to go to the bus stop at seven thirty in the morning and wait for her, here is what she looks like." Benson pulled out a picture from the folder, Mordecai quickly took it as he and Rigby looked at it.

It was just a head shot, like a passport picture. Her face was covered in scars, some deep while others were fading. But what they found strange were her eyes. They dark green and very empty looking, as if her soul had left her body behind.  
>"Why don't you get muscle man and high five ghost to wait for her?" Benson and Mordecai looked over at Rigby with an unknown look on their faces, or so Rigby thought it was.<p>

"If either of you mess this up, you're fired and this time I mean it!" Benson said as he ignored Rigby's question and got up from that table, he looked at his workers before walking off; but before he walked out the doorway he turned to Rigby and Mordecai. "Don't worry; you won't be here all day with her. Skips and I will return around noon, Pops might return a little earlier though…" He trailed off as he thought about something for a moment, Mordecai and Rigby watched with confusion and tense. The living gumball machine glanced over at them and shook his head before leaving; he kept muttering something under his breath as he walked up the stairs.

"Dude…what just happened?" The blue jay looked at his best friend and shrugged.

"All I know is we better hit the sack soon; we have an early wake up to pick up this girl." Mordecai said as he stood up and stretched, Rigby nodded as he got up as well.

"Dude, what's this chick's name?" Mordecai glanced over at the raccoon before shrugging, both of their eyes landed on the blue folder Benson left behind.  
>Rigby went in to grab it but quickly found his hand slapped away, he looked at Mordecai and gave him a WTF look.<p>

"We shouldn't be looking at something that isn't ours; we can just ask Benson in the morning before he leaves." Rigby stuck out his tongue and went to grab the folder, the blue jay went to slap his hand away but missed. The hit sent the folder flying across the kitchen and the papers scattered, Mordecai let out a sigh.  
>"Great, look what you made me do; at least help me clean this up and put them away before Benson comes looking for it." He quickly started grabbing the papers and making sure he didn't look at them, no matter how much he wanted to.<p>

"Dude!" Mordecai looked over to see Rigby staring at one of the papers.

"Dude, we're not supposed to be looking at these, give me that!" He tried to snatch it away but the raccoon dodge him and ran away from his reach, he smirked at the blue jay but quickly his eyes went back to the paper.

"Her name is Nyx Night…that a weird name, it sounds like something out of a video game." Mordecai rolled his eyes at Rigby as he grabbed the rest of the papers and the empty folder; he glanced at Rigby and quickly felt curiosity get the best of him. He placed the papers away before going to over to the raccoon; he looked over his shoulder at the report.

"She's seventeen, an Arctic wolf fusion." Mordecai said as he read more about her, they both read intently at what it said about the mysterious new girl. A few things were a little sketch; things like her past and her family.

"Dude…she sounds kind of creepy!" Mordecai smacked the back of his best friend's head, the raccoon hissed at him as he sent a poisonous glare at the blue jay. "What, I was just saying what I thought."

"Dude I told you not to read it; now that you did, stop saying insulting things." Mordecai pulled the paper out of Rigby's hands and placed it with the others; he placed it where Benson had gotten it.

"No fair!" Rigby said as he crossed his arms and pouted, Mordecai had to admit; the smaller raccoon looked cute doing that. He quickly realized what he had just thought and blushed; he turned away as he pretended to be interested in the fruit shaped magnets.

"We better get our sleep on or we'll be too tired to wake up on time tomorrow morning." Mordecai was glad as he nodded as they started back up the stairs; the rest of the night was quiet and calm.

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><p>Wow this is the longest chapter I've ever done, please review ^^<br>I love reviews, they make me feel happy. I will try to keep updating as fast as I can for those of you who like this fan fiction, I love you all and have a nice day/night/evening/morning. I fixed it for all you trolls out there -_-'


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